A point to all of you who know the origin of the title. Double points if you have the whole speech memorized, and fifty points to any of you who thought, "Oh ho! That whole sketch was about the Church of England, therefore this post is going to be about religion!" If any of you did earn those fifty points, please turn off your computer and your television and go outside for a while, because you are more plugged in and crazy than I am and that's saying something.
As most or all of you know, I'm agnostic. Now, to clear up any terminology issues, when I say agnostic I mean that I don't believe in God and don't believe there isn't a God - I quite simply don't know one way or the other. I was raised in a household without much exposure to religion and a great deal of exposure to the scientific method, so the latter trumps the former. But since I can't disprove God's existence just as much as I can't prove it, I'm stuck floating in between somewhere.
Do I lean one way or the other? Depends on what day it is, honestly. Days when I'm feeling especially down-to-earth rational, I lean against belief. Days when I can't handle the idea of neuroscience because the whole human consciousness could not possibly be created from one single brain filled with so few neurons? Those are the days I almost believe in a soul. And yes, I was a neuroscience major until I hit that wall. I couldn't handle progressing in a field with such an important, potentially unanswerable question.
I guess the point that I want to make here - something that I didn't realize until this very sentence - is that agnosticism is not the same as apathy. For evidence, please see the last post where I couldn't concentrate on homework for nearly three hours because I was compelled to break down Tron: Legacy into its bite-sized Catholic symbolism components.
The thing is, I love religion. I've written a whole post on why religious studies classes are so important. Most of the people of the world are religious, and when you understand the ideas of the major world religions, you understand people. Many wars, stories, and actions only really make sense in the context of religion. That's why the three books that will never leave my dorm room are the Bible, the English Translation of the Meaning of the Qur'an, and the Book of Mormon. If anyone feels like giving me a copy of the Talmud or the Ramayana, I'll gladly add it to that collection.
The problem is that collecting religion is not the same as being part of one, but I fear that it is too late for me. If you want to try and convert me, go ahead - it makes me feel happy that someone cares about my immortal soul (just don't be sneaky or manipulative about it, because that kind of behavior severely pisses me off). But if you try, know that many others have come before you. Hell, I've tried to convert me to something, and it's always failed.
It's always seemed like being part of a religion would make life better. Not easier, mind you, because from what I understand, if you do it right, being part of a religion takes a lot of time and searching and doubt. But religion gives you a special community and a certain fulfillment when you live and comfort when you die. But like I said, I think it's too late for me. It's something I've learned to live with.
But sometimes, just in case someone is listening, I pray. And when I do pray, I pray for the things I think God would want to answer, because if there is something that observation has taught me, I don't think God directly intervenes with cancer removal or test scores. I mean, if all the Unitarian Universalists suddenly started winning the lottery and getting miraculously cured of their AIDS through intensive prayer, we'd have heard about it by now. So I pray for things that aren't tangible, things that don't require massive changes in the cause-and-effect of the world. Like if you're out there, help me find you and help make my work ethic better or make me a kinder person or help my friend through her illness. Because if every once in a while I offer a well-intentioned prayer to make myself a better person instead of to have the world bend itself to my needs, just maybe, maybe, someone might answer.
As most or all of you know, I'm agnostic. Now, to clear up any terminology issues, when I say agnostic I mean that I don't believe in God and don't believe there isn't a God - I quite simply don't know one way or the other. I was raised in a household without much exposure to religion and a great deal of exposure to the scientific method, so the latter trumps the former. But since I can't disprove God's existence just as much as I can't prove it, I'm stuck floating in between somewhere.
Do I lean one way or the other? Depends on what day it is, honestly. Days when I'm feeling especially down-to-earth rational, I lean against belief. Days when I can't handle the idea of neuroscience because the whole human consciousness could not possibly be created from one single brain filled with so few neurons? Those are the days I almost believe in a soul. And yes, I was a neuroscience major until I hit that wall. I couldn't handle progressing in a field with such an important, potentially unanswerable question.
I guess the point that I want to make here - something that I didn't realize until this very sentence - is that agnosticism is not the same as apathy. For evidence, please see the last post where I couldn't concentrate on homework for nearly three hours because I was compelled to break down Tron: Legacy into its bite-sized Catholic symbolism components.
The thing is, I love religion. I've written a whole post on why religious studies classes are so important. Most of the people of the world are religious, and when you understand the ideas of the major world religions, you understand people. Many wars, stories, and actions only really make sense in the context of religion. That's why the three books that will never leave my dorm room are the Bible, the English Translation of the Meaning of the Qur'an, and the Book of Mormon. If anyone feels like giving me a copy of the Talmud or the Ramayana, I'll gladly add it to that collection.
The problem is that collecting religion is not the same as being part of one, but I fear that it is too late for me. If you want to try and convert me, go ahead - it makes me feel happy that someone cares about my immortal soul (just don't be sneaky or manipulative about it, because that kind of behavior severely pisses me off). But if you try, know that many others have come before you. Hell, I've tried to convert me to something, and it's always failed.
It's always seemed like being part of a religion would make life better. Not easier, mind you, because from what I understand, if you do it right, being part of a religion takes a lot of time and searching and doubt. But religion gives you a special community and a certain fulfillment when you live and comfort when you die. But like I said, I think it's too late for me. It's something I've learned to live with.
But sometimes, just in case someone is listening, I pray. And when I do pray, I pray for the things I think God would want to answer, because if there is something that observation has taught me, I don't think God directly intervenes with cancer removal or test scores. I mean, if all the Unitarian Universalists suddenly started winning the lottery and getting miraculously cured of their AIDS through intensive prayer, we'd have heard about it by now. So I pray for things that aren't tangible, things that don't require massive changes in the cause-and-effect of the world. Like if you're out there, help me find you and help make my work ethic better or make me a kinder person or help my friend through her illness. Because if every once in a while I offer a well-intentioned prayer to make myself a better person instead of to have the world bend itself to my needs, just maybe, maybe, someone might answer.
