Why don't adults play tag?

No really. Why don't adults just start games of tag sometimes? I can tell you part of the reason. About 30% of the adult population of the world would have, upon reading the title of this post, thought to themselves, "Adults play tag all the time, if you know what I mean nudge nudge wink wink Bob's-your-uncle." Well, maybe not that last bit, but the point is that much of the world seems to be operating under the When Harry Met Sally theory that no two adults of opposite genders can be friends/talk/interact in any way without sex lurking somewhere in the background. I couldn't care less. I think most everyone needs to play tag every once in a while.

Here's what I mean. Tonight I briefly participated in the glorified and glorious game of tag known as Humans vs. Zombies. And it was amazing. Though the whole thing was totally safe, there was that real feeling of risk and danger that comes when you know someone is out to get you. There was a beautiful sense of camaraderie among the survivors all moving in a pack, listening for the leader now shouting, now whispering orders to duck or run. There was the thrill of hearing cries of BRAIIINS coming from up a hill and running for your lives (but staying in formation and protecting the package!) through a dark and threatening world. I felt more purposeful, driven, and alive than I had in a long time. It's something you can't find in the stress of a workplace or an academic environment. I think that much the same thing is found in playing sports, something I have not done in far too long a time. Therefore, I conclude that adult should have more competitive events like this available to them in their lives without a social stigma attached. The next time someone has to throw a company party, suggest laser tag. Much more fun than a dinner party with the fancy napkins and little cheeses. Actually, scratch that. Bring the little cheeses to laser tag and then everyone will go home happy. Unless someone's lactose intolerant. Then bring some goat milk cheese. You're welcome, world.