I'm in love with vlogs and I feel fine

Okay, so you all are probably wondering why I've been radio silent so much recently after PROMISING that I would have videos up ASAP and after I had already filmed four like a week ago.  There are four primary reasons for this:

1) I have been busy.  This ranges from standard work hours through my entire Sunday (and I mean ENTIRE Sunday) being suddenly and completely unexpectedly taken up by the most awesome (well, only) session of D&D I've ever played (more tomorrow, yay!).  I'm so glad I've found an RPG setting that suits me.  Also, I've been plowing through books that were due back at the library today (I think I'm going to do a full video on The 4-Hour Workweek).  However, I was busy when I was doing daily blogs before, right?  What's different now?  Well...

2) Once something becomes a responsibility instead of a diversion, I start avoiding it like the plague, no matter what it is.  This, combined with my fear of success, fear of failure, and general tendencies toward procrastination make it nearly impossible for me to get anything done.  Fortunately, this is slightly countered by the fact that I now feel guilty about wasting time watching online videos because it reminds me that I have videos of my own to make, driving me back towards the work at hand.  

3) I hate my video editing software.  It's Adobe Premiere Elements 4, and it runs about as smoothly on my computer as Velcro on carpet.  

4) Life in a Day.  That is the big project going on right now (http://blogs.wsj.com/digits/2010/07/07/youtube-film-life-in-a-day-to-employ-user-generated-content/).  All Saturday I was running around with my camera trying to shoot interesting video of my life.  Unfortunately, my friend's cool event got delayed by a few days and my office was locked so I couldn't film my kissy-face crayfish interactions.  However, I got some footage and answered the Life in a Day questions, so now all I have to do is edit my video together by the end of this Saturday.  This video is really the wrench in the works.  Not only does it preempt my other videos, but it falls into the traps outlined in numbers 2 and 3 above.  

The good news is that Life in a Day has also convinced me that vlogging is the path I want to take.  Just a few minutes ago, I started reviewing the footage.  Even as I watched myself bungling lines, I found myself smiling, and I mean really smiling.  This statement comes from a girl who suffered a great deal of self-hatred during a bout of clinical depression which has left a rather significant scar, so please realize that this is something of a big deal.  I like watching my videos, even unedited.  I think I'm fun to watch, at least for me.  That's all that counts, really.  No matter who ends up watching my videos, whether it's 5 people or 5,000, I will always be able to look back on them, see myself as I am today, and smile.  Vlogging is my path, and I'm getting back on the bandwagon ASAP (well, after a full day of work and D&D tomorrow).  I'll have to have my Life in a Day video up by Saturday, anyway (well, that may go unlisted, but we'll see).  

DFTBA,

Julia