"I'm having a really hard time naming this post," Trope Girl said titularly.

Some of my friends are going to kill me for bringing this topic up, but I am the daughter of a woman who makes puns constantly - it's kind of in my blood.  Today's topic is Tom Swifties.  I suppose the best way to explain what these are is to give a few examples (courtesy of Wikipedia):

• "They had to amputate them both at the ankles," Tom said defeatedly.
• "Who discovered radium?" asked Marie curiously..
• "Who put the moss in the bog again?" asked Tom repeatedly.
• "A word that contains all five vowels? And I suppose you want those vowels to appear in alphabetical order?" asked Tom facetiously.
• "The robber is coming down the stairs", Tom said condescendingly.
• "Nnnn", Tom murmured forensically.

So, as you've probably gleaned, Tom Swifties are a specific type of pun in which someone says a sentence and the sentence is described with a pun.  They were originally inspired by the Tom Swift books in which no one ever just said anything, they always spoke with an descriptive flair.

Anyway, a few summers back my friends introduced me to Tom Swifties while we were on a trip together.  They quickly regretted this decision.  Here's some of what was produced then*:

“Stop throwing trash out of your car,” the cop said literally, and Tom refused.
              -Me, Nia, and one other

“Man overboard!” Tom said swimmingly.
              -Me

“Your toupee fell off,” Tom said baldly.
              -Me

“I’m all for cow rights,” Tom said provocatively.  [This is my favorite.  Hint: Spanish is required.]
              -Me

“I fail,” Tom said saucily.  [This one expects that "failsauce" is part of your vocabulary.  If it isn't already, make it so.]
              -Dreamwaffles

“I have the queen of spades,” Tom said heartily.
              -Dreamwaffles

“I’ve tried every way to get to sleep,” Tom said sheepishly.
              -Me

“I’ve cleared the lawn of leaves,” Tom said rakishly.
              -Me

“I’m tired of digging,” Tom said trenchantly.
              -Dreamwaffles

“Ms. Little’s here,” Tom said in a small voice.
              -Me and Nia

“What’s the antiderivative of sec²?” Tom said tangentially.
              -Me

“I’m menstruating,” Tina said periodically.
              -Me

“I have a turtle,” Tom said awkwardly.
              -Dreamwaffles

“That brush hit me really hard,” Trope Girl said bruisingly.
              -Dreamwaffles

“I’ve lost my flashlight,” Tom said darkly.
              -Me

“I’m a believer,” Tom said faithfully.
              -Me

“Hi!” Tom said loftily.
              -Dreamwaffles and/or me

“Put some more hemlock in the pot,” Tom said deadpan.
              - U-dawg

“I love semaphore!” Tom said unflaggingly.
              -Me

*Credit to Dreamwaffles for transcribing these.

If you want to know more about Tom Swifties, you can visit the Wikipedia page.  For a more fun use of your time, read Sleeping Freshmen Never Lie by David Lubar, a very funny book about a high school student which includes many well-done Tom Swifties.  

["I don't know how to end this blog post," Trope Girl said terminally.]

Note: yes, the font and format went a little screwy, but I don't know how to fix it without a lot of work.