The Zombie War Escort Mission Part 1: Moons and Socks

A few weeks ago, zombies invaded my college. They went under the guise of armband-wearing college students, but those in the resistance knew the truth. They were zombies and they wanted human flesh.

One night, the resistance learned of small packs of human survivors who were spread out across the campus. They knew that there were seven safe locations in which three or four teams of these humans were hidden. However, the zombies had somehow gotten the same information. The two groups had very clear goals: the resistance had to rescue the survivors, the zombies had to bite a human in each group in order to turn the whole pack into zombies. I was one of the scattered humans. This is my story.

I was out of the loop when the zombie invasion began. I had been too busy doing homework to notice what was going on in the outside world. By the time I realized what was happening, the resistance had already formed and settled into a base location far away from where I was. I found two other humans like me who had been left behind. They had heard of the safe locations, so we decided to travel to one and hope that the resistance found us so that we could join their ranks instead of succumbing to the zombie horde.

Before we began our journey, I prepared myself for the trials to come. The only weapons known to hurt the zombies were socks and Nerf gun darts; therefore, lacking the latter, I stocked up on all the balled-up socks I could find. I put on my black leather jacket because it served as nighttime camouflage and because it had deep enough pockets to hold my arsenal of projectiles. With courage in my heart and socks in my hands, I went out to face the night with my team.

 Ready to kick butt.

Trouble made itself known as soon just after we left the team meeting spot. As we made our way to the safe zone, we saw zombies tailing us in the far distance. They knew exactly which location we were going to hide in. Luckily, we arrived before they did, rushing into the dorm common room and locking the door before the zombies could get in. All we could do then was wait.  

The team in the safe room.

The locked door we had entered through.

The wall on the opposite side of the room from the entrance door. There was a door in the glass wall which opened outward but was locked to the outside. It was our alternate escape route.

The zombies arrived soon after we did. They were stymied by the locks and didn't notice the emergency escape route (we worked hard not to draw attention to it). For a while, nothing happened. We sat in the room and the zombies patrolled the hallway outside the entrance door; no one could do anything until the resistance arrived.

I decided that the best thing to do was to demoralize the enemy. I made faces at the zombies outside our door, sticking out my tongue, stretching out my cheeks, and pulling down on the skin below my eyes. They responded in kind, but despite their rotting skin none of them could make a face to match the horrors that mine could produce. Victory was mine.

The zombies did get their vengeance in another way, however. When we opened the blinds around our alternative exit, the zombies became aware of our back-up plan. They immediately ran around to that side of the room to see if they could get in through the glass door, but they failed.

Our enemies in all their undead glory.

The female zombie on the far right decided to strike back against the blow their morale had taken in the face-off by pulling down her shorts and ramming her rear end against the glass. Truly there is no flesh as disgusting as that of a zombie.

The zombies soon gave up their assault on the glass wall and returned to the hallway. Eventually, we couldn't see them at all. For all we knew, they were plotting to get into the safe room through the interior balcony on the second floor. All we could do was sit and hope that the humans would arrive before the zombies could get in.

To be continued...

Note: the framing story for this story might be fictionalized, but the events themselves are eventually true. This event was one of the most fun things I have ever done. Advice for everyone out there: if your college/local area does have Humans vs. Zombies, join in the next game. If not, start one for yourself.

http://humansvszombies.org/

P.S. Lizzle, this is for you.

P.P.S. TWAIO, who are you? Am I just being really thick about acronyms?

P.P.P.S.  This site's crazy formatting issues are my real arch-enemy.