Of Zombies and Bike Rides

ZOMBIES!  Let's see if I can get this all typed and meet the midnight deadline.


(Read this as dramatically as possible for full effect.  Otherwise it just sounds kind of lame.  Okay, even with dramatic voice it sounds kind of lame.  Just...yeah.)


It was last Saturday.  I had been informed of the final Humans vs. Zombies mission and bought a Nerf-style gun specifically for that purpose.  This would be the first time I could really participate in the fight, and I was thrilled to get my chance to kick some zombie butt.  I had timed it perfectly so that I could get to the final showdown, finish it up, and then just barely make it to my concert call.  I borrowed a bike from my friend and prepared for the journey, putting on my black concert pants and a ratty t-shirt and storing the rest of my concert clothes in my backpack along with my Nerf gun.  I left my dorm about 15 minutes before the battle was supposed to begin a long way off.  I rode a bike for essentially the first time in the better part of a decade without a helmet for 15 minutes across campus trying to find a place I had never actually been to, dodging hordes of alumnae as I made my way to my destination.  I finally managed to find a bike rack and fumbled the lock into place, then ran over to the first group of humans I could find.  The battle was due to start in seconds.

"Excuse me, but where do I go?"  I had an atypical role to play and I needed to get it clarified.

"Sorry, the battle has been delayed.  The alumnae got drunk and didn't clear out when they promised they would.  We were assured multiple times that they would be gone by now, but they're not and we have to delay until 8:30."

And there it was.  The battle was now scheduled during my concert.  There was no way I could make it.  I took the bike back to my friend in defeat and prepared for my boring, zombie-free concert.  The gun did find a purpose in life, though, as the post from a few days ago should indicate.  Also, the battle got delayed another hour because the alumnae decided that staying drunk on our battleground instead of politely clearing out was a great plan.

THE END.

See how exciting that was?  Yeah.  Well, I don't run ads on this blog, so I guess you get what you pay for.



For Lizzle, who told me that if I wrote something, it would probably make sense: I sank a cheeseburger into a Hindenburg table while dancing to the pillow's topical tree.  Thank you and goodnight.

Quote of the Day:

[Church relates Tex's killing of his old squad via flashback]

Church: The whole thing was over before it even started. Poor Jimmy was the last one to go. Tex walked up to him, pulled Jimmy's skull right out of his head and beat him to death with it.

Tucker: Wait a second... how do you beat someone to death with their own skull? That doesn't seem physically possible.

Church: You know, that's exactly what Jimmy kept screaming.

[Flasback to Jimmy being beat to death with his own skull]

Jimmy:'This doesn't seem physically possible!

- Red vs. Blue